Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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