I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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