Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I smell like Dick and happiness
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