Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
