why didn't you poke me back
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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