I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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