Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
