Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
