so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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