There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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