It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
