just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
