after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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