I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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