Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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