Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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