You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
