and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
