More tranny stories later!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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