So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
