He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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