he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
