I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you had me at cake vodka
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
