what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
