the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize