Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
