The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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