i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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