I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
