I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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