That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
