"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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