Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
