summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
