we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
