I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
