no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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