He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
