I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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