i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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