Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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