these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
