i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
