I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
its not stalking. its research.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
