I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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