I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
