is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize