DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
