dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
