Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
