living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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