ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
