i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
