why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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