This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
