now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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