Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
