Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
