Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
