I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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