There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
