i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
