She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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