i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
