the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
