whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
