well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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