i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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