She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
