Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
